Charlie II

I have no idea how to improve this because it makes me laugh too much. :P So, instead, I'm gonna point out areas which I think are weaker than the ...

Lovely, Lumi. I like the image of "all the boys in paris". There is something so romantic about the French even though, traditionally, I should hate them. :P I think ...

Ohgod so hard to review. Let's see what I thought. ;) Concept Lovely, Beckeh. I like the idea of a few events at key points in your protagonist's life. As ...

Heya Anna91423! You're almost there. I like the running track being a circle and the idea that you can never escape anything on it. The image is a good one ...

Heya ShadowOfHades, I like what you've got so far, but there's definitely room for development. Is this a dodgeball game, by the way? It certainly sounds like one! Characters It ...

Hey Frances Smith! I read your poem and laughed aloud :P I like the cheekiness of this. Humour is something I'm very interested in, and so I might talk about ...

Heya Sarah! Hope you're enjoying YWS so far. I spotted your first chapter in the Browse section and thought I'd let you know how I found it. Beginnings I find ...

Hey Matthewmazer! Hope you're having a good day. ;) Don't worry too much about the paragraphs now, though if you try to space it a little better in the future ...

Hey Matthewmazer! Hope you're having a good day. ;) Don't worry too much about the paragraphs now, though if you try to space it a little better in the future ...

Ajt! So I was rolling about in the blogs section and I found your album and I thought I'd come check this out. I must admit, I was surprised at ...

As promised! Characterisation I recognise this character. I think a lot of people can identify with him, and that's a great thing to have in your protagonist. Anyone who has ...

Hey Ahmad, As prologues go, this has got to be one of the best I've seen on YWS for a long time. You've got just the right amount of action ...

Heya tcgamergirl997! You've got a good start here, but I see a lot of Prologues in these forums and not many epilogues. I encourage you to keep going, keep writing, ...

You're right, denj -- no grammatical errors that I could see. Sprawling chronological review I'd delete the first italicised line -- not because there's anything wrong with it, but it ...

Hey there Walkitch! This is a nice little piece but I'm sure we can find a few things to make it even better. Paragraphing At the moment we've only got ...